So my brain is foggy & my mind is racing. I somehow feel like I'm running with no finish line in sight. Like I'm running without a destination. I'm told to concentrate on work this week, by the powers that be(astrological crud), so I am...
And it's a good thing too b'cause I have a crap ton of stuff to accomplish before the start of next week. @ this point I'm not even sure that I'll be able to accomplish it all. No, wait.. I always have in the past, whats different now? Nothing, that's just it... Nothing. So, scratch all of that, I WILL get my tasks accomplished, I WILL get everything done that I am responsible for. Good, that's said.
Back to the foggy brain... I went out on a drive last night and was intent on eating dinner so I stopped in for some sushi. So amazing was the meal, so expensive was it too. $50 just for me... It helped a little bit, but not enough. Got plans made for me while I was there, which was good cause I needed to get out and do something. All I wanted to be was in someone's arms, not just any someone... some one. This is so hard not to break any of the rules. It's painful when we do & it's so damn difficult to figure out where intentions are, or my main problem, reading way to far into something. All I know is that I don't know. Ben Harper, Johnny Cash, and some other people got it right as far as how things go. They'll get me through anything in life. Music is the ultimate worth... perspective, fresh view, what to fight for, & what it's worth.
Everyone in life makes mistakes. Hell, my mother married the same guy twice, he cheated, lied, & ended up hitting her. He's the reason I can't stand domestic violence & why I can't hit a woman. I just CAN'T... don't call me sexist or anything, it's a moral code... a code of honor. My mother wants to see me happy, I know that. She's better than what she had to go though, but it also taught her a lot about life. I know she wants to love you... and she sees how happy I am in this. I only want to get over you if you want to get over me. That's the final truth. I know this. But I also don't what to have to get over it. That's a fact... & that's my choice.
I realized today... it's March. This year is flying so much quicker than expected. For some reason when I'm with you I don't let it go so fast, the moments are important, it slows everything down to be able to drink in the amazingness of you. I know I'm going to do things for myself more now too. Do the tings I've been putting off for far to long now. I remember why I started this, for me. And I've been robbing this from myself. No longer. I've come up with a new term for my blog, I'm sure it's not original, but then again, what is anymore... Blog Therapy. That's what I'm doing, blogging for therapy. Look for so many more updates for the rest of my mortal existence & if I could figure out a way to ghost the machine, I would.
So that's how I see it and that's that.. it is what it is.
seen this way @ 10:46 AM EST by Sean